[Editor’s note. I write this more introspectively. It isn’t clear why I would choose to post it, but perhaps it can hit a chord with some. For that reason, I respectfully ask that you decline comments on this content.]

Back in October, we were able to visit Washington DC. I have always enjoyed my visits to DC. I am always inspired by the words on the monuments, the exhibits in the Smithsonian, the grand vistas of our palaces of power on the Mall. But this trip was different; I walked away questioning those things that are.

On one of our days, we had lunch with my friend Mark. I’ve known him for a long time. He has a gentle and professorial demeanor, and is one of the smartest men that I’ve known. His only flaw – he’s also followed this blog.

As we’re walking into a restaurant in the Eastern Market he commented that he saw my postings as “blue”.  To which I responded that I don’t consider myself either red or blue – I’m more of a social liberal and fiscal conservative. It was a very poor response on my part, and I’ve never felt that I truly answered his question.

I’ve been writing this in my head ever since. So, here goes nothing.

It’s a question of faith.  I question whether I have any faith left, and where I would place it now.

It’s impossible to address these things without getting into our various institutions. I will try (and fail) to write this without putting in specifics; rather the goal is to reflect on the perspective more broadly. Take of it what you wish.

I long ago lost my faith in religion. All religions preach to their followers a message of peace and tolerance. I took those lessons from my Jewish upbringing. The Holocaust ended 17 years before I was born; to put that in perspective it’s now 22 years since 9/11.  But since my teen years I could no longer understand how religions can preach peace but not tolerate one another. As a Jew who grew up knowing of the persecution of my forebears, I could no longer as a teen reconcile that with the idea of “pushing the Arabs into the sea”.

That lesson from my upbringing – “Treat thy neighbor as thyself”, juxtaposed with the reality of selfishness, became the origin of my social conscience. So yes, I support the idea of equality, a woman’s right to choose, and the responsibility we have to help others (regardless of their fortune).

That does not mean that I support all of the things that are happening today. I bridle every time I hear that I had some sort of “white privilege” – I worked very hard and believe I earned everything that I have. And I still work hard.  There is a difference between sharing and taking away from one to give to another. We cannot buy our way out of our troubles or isolate ourselves from them. We need to work through them together. But where is that common ground to be found?

Certainly not in our government. I’ve lost my faith in our elected leaders. All of them. This is not new, but this year was different – I watched my local city council do despicable things for the simple reason “that they could”.  I watched the fallout, particularly that which affected children. I am angry about it. It affected me. I fled from participation. I do not like that about myself.

One cannot be “great again” until one is first good. My grandmother fled Russia; those at our borders flee Venezuela for the very same reasons. Is the statement “Give me your tired, your poor, Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free” no more than stamped words on a tin plate? No, we cannot save everyone, but we cannot condemn them either.

Our politicians have failed us; I think we can all agree on that. We seem to be giving all of them a pass at respecting the laws of their own country. We no longer expect ethics. There are no great words to come from those who represent our freedoms. 

And what of our freedom? When I visited the Norman Rockwell museum a few years ago during COVID, I had the chance to sit undisturbed with the Four Freedom paintings surrounding me.  FDR’s grand words stirred these paintings that symbolize that yearning.

These words, these ideas – these were supposed to be rallying points for our society. Yet they are now weaponized against us from all sides. It appears that we can say and do anything with impunity. Freedom is not a means to getting what one wants; it is a responsibility for us to work towards the protection of others. To get the truth for all to see, no matter how unpleasant.

Perception is the truth, someone once told me. We want to believe those things that we agree with; the truth is far more complicated. Everything appears to be a “crisis” from some “inflection point”; are they really?

Which brings us to my daughter’s chosen profession.  I told her to “Own her work, Own her ethics” when she got her first job. I have faith that she will do so – her mother did too good a job raising her.

Journalists rely on these freedoms, not for their ability to promote the truth but their ability to not be held liable for their actions. They are there to sell soap. Which is precisely why Fox paid $783M in a settlement to avoid having Rupert Murdoch answer these questions. And it was worth every cent.

OK, I’ve let off some steam here.  I know that in every institution, in every profession, there are good people. I should not paint everyone with the same broad brush. It is our obligation to recognize those people, to bring them forward to lead, to trust in them and listen to what they have to say.

So, the last question is this – Can we be saved?  If there is faith in mankind it comes only if we rediscover our humanity. I’ve begun to question this now too – we all seem to be so angry about everything. I’ve been actually yelled at by my friends during otherwise polite conversations; and I too have shown my anger on those issues close to me. No one wins.

Blaming COVID, or politics, or religion, or anything and everyone else but ourselves as the cause of this anger is not sufficient. I worry that we are all collapsing under the weight of the monster we have created. We want a simple answer to a complex question and failing to have that cannot find a salve for the thorn in our lion’s paw.

As for the very institutions that we look to for salvation appear to only be pushing us further towards the extremes. Rather than solve this pain, they add to it for a measure of profit.  If that is to be the case, then we must turn to ourselves to find a way out. It is up to us to rediscover the middle ground.

In turn, I now question my faith in myself. I write in this blog about the person I want to be, not the person that I am. That’s ok – it is something to aspire to.

I try to live by a series of maxims that I’ve adopted over the years, mostly from the clichés provided by the same institutions I condemn above. I don’t want to be labeled with those things that stoke such reaction in others. I do not wish to provoke anyone to anger; rather I live in fear of it. I simply hope I can navigate my own course.

Does that answer the question?