I’m at a certain type of exclusive large home center store that’s painted a bright orange. Sort of a Depot if you will.  Yes, I am there every day of the week.  Twice a day.  At shift change. Let’s just say… they know me.

Anyway, I’m about to check out and I notice a placard that says – Tap Card Here, with a bright orange arrow to the exact spot that you are to place your card.

How helpful. I cannot speak for you, but figuring out how to exactly pay at any given store has become sort of a challenge for me.  Different places to tap, or slide, or insert or…  Well, one can (and I did) break out into song and dance in the line. Yes, you know the song (and it is NOT the YMCA):

You tap your left card here,
You tap your right card there
You tap your card on the screen
And you insert it in the slot
You do the Hokey Pokey 
And they debit your account
That’s what it’s all about…..

Needless to say, the entire line broke out in perfect 4-part harmony.  Or not.  The line of contractors named “Jim” that were behind me had places to go and things to do. Dancing was not on the card. I keep expecting that some day someone will pay me a buck for busking at the register; so far, not a cent.

As a sidenote (is there any other type of note?) I did notice that there was NO ONE in line when I approached, and a llllooonnnnggggg line when I decided to sing.  I get that there’s good karma and bad karma, but me in a line is sort-of a what-the-heck-is-this karma.

But the clerk got it.  When I told her that I think they purposefully seem to change these things on us, she said, without missing a beat “Yes, we watch it in the break room for fun.”

I always suspected……