Category: At the Movies
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Mission Impossible – The Search for Siri
I want to be clear about this – I am angry – I mean really Really REALLY ANGRY – at Tom Cruise. He and I are the same age. I wake up every morning kvetching about my various aches and pains. I walk like an old man. I actually thought I was doing pretty good…
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A Hallmark Hanukkah
You have to give it to the Hallmark people. They figured it out – Christmas is but one day a year, which leaves the other 364 for Christmas movies. But upon consultation with their lawyers, they were advised to do one movie per year that was not about Christmas. Enter the annual Hanukkah movie. It…
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The Most Thankless Job In Hollywood
So, we saw the new Tom Cruise movie “Mission Impossible: Dead Reckoning” today. Gotta admit, it was fantastic. What got me was the credits. There is a staff headed up by a “Safety and Health Advisor”. I imagine it goes this way: Mr. Advisor: “Mr. Cruise, as your Safety and Health Advisor, I must tell…
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Jurassic LarryLand
It occurs to me that in the Jurassic Park Movies, you have all of these huge dinosaurs running around with no collars and therefore no idea when they’re trying to imitate a cow. More Cowbells, I say. So, my idea is this: We hire Christopher Walken to attach those little Christmas Jingle Bell collars around…
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The Brady Bunch
So, the new hit movie “80’s for Brady” is scoring big at the box office. I’ve not seen it, but my understanding is that a bunch of crazed octogenarians, led by Rita Moreno, join the NFL and sack Tom Brady. This can only mean one thing… Sequels.
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The 12 Working British Actors
It is once again Awards Season (we know because they’re still giving acceptance speeches thanking their second cousin twice removed for that time, you know, when he or she said something encouraging like “go for it”, which gave them the fortitude to become famous and wealthy).
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The Sniffle- Snort
So, I have just returned from seeing The Fault in Our Stars, the touching story of Luke and Leia, and apparently how they love each other but not Jar Jar Binks. It was a Han Solo-hankie tear-jerker of a movie. Really, it was the story of Gus and Hazel, two teenage cancer patients that fall…
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Hulk’s Magic Pants
With the help of the Human Crutch, I have decoded the secret underside of SHIELD. However, what we realized in our discovery is that, hidden in plain sight, is a conspiracy of epic proportions. Much like the Zapruder Film, we have discovered the Magic Bullet of Marvel. We will use this to expose the secret…
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The SHIELD of Middle Management
My daughter, the Human Crutch (she supports everything Marvel) has made Iron Man a part of our daily life. But it seems to me that SHIELD is not really a reflection of reality. It is a very large organization with fleets, thousands of staff, and a budget that apparently exceeds the budget of New York.…
LARRYLAND 