Here in Huntington Beach, there is a small seagull-like bird called the California Least Tern.  Apparently, like every other creature on earth other than squirrels in LarryLand, it is their tern to be on the endangered species list. With valuable government benefits, things may tern for the better.  [Yes, I intend to milk that joke for the entire post.]

I can’t speak for you, but I blame this on the name.  What kind of identity crisis must these terns be turning if they are constantly told they are the least. Mediocre, challenged, heck, pick any other descriptor but the “least”… well, that’s just annoying them to no end.

I’m pretty sure that explains Murray.  Whenever I go down to the beach where the Murray and the other least terns lease (more on that in a moment), he is the one sitting on the beach squawking at all the other birds, taking his tern such as it were. 

So, to help Murray with his crisis, the State of California has set up a very nice home for these fine birds.  Picture this:  You have beachfront property with small bungalows and locally appropriate drought-resistant native plants. These are gated off from the rest of the beach to give you exclusivity and are patrolled by security in small trucks.

Yes, all of that is true – we gave them a gated condominium complex.  It is no different than my Mom’s place in the desert, except that she also has an HOA board. 

Of course, I could be wrong.  As you read this post, perhaps all the least terns are gathering (ok, if this is truly an HOA board meeting, only the least amount of the least terns would be gathering, but you get the idea). Murray seems like a perfect choice for the board president, as he is clearly not the least of the flock to speak his mind.

Meanwhile, the other terns are mingling.   “Oh, Hi, I’m Gladys, Murray’s wife.  We live over in Unit 356.  Yes, Yes, the one in the front at the end cul-de-sac with the view of the river.  And you are…..  Oh, Bernice it’s so nice to meet you.  You say you just moved here?  Oh, you’re going to love it. Fresh air, nice sunsets, great for kids and bingo on Tuesdays. Once a month Huntington Beach Harry comes down and juggles fish for us.   So did you buy?…. Oh, you leased here, well that’s just fine I say….  Me and Murray we own our place, but once the snowbirds get here we fly down to Acapulco for the winter. Yes, our kids have left the nest, but you know how it is. After all, my Murray may be a least tern but he’s not the least tern, if you know what I mean…..”

Yes, they have a new lease on life here at the beach. Things will tern out just fine for our fine-feathered friends.  It was the least we could do.