Something you should know about me:  If you ask me a reasonable question, do not expect a reasonable answer. I simply CANNOT be trusted.

For example – Whenever I go to a restaurant a polite, well-intentioned server typically asks this question: “Can I bring you anything else?”  Almost always, I say “Money”.

You may ask yourself – “why?”  You may also ask yourself – “what is wrong with him?”  The answers are simple:  Because I want to win the lottery, and because I am insane.

You see, I’ve heard stories of some waiter getting a $500,000 tip from some Saudi oil tycoon because he refilled his cup of coffee (the tycoon’s coffee, not the waiters). Well, maybe I can get in on this action. Who knows if that store clerk or barista is a billionaire with a hobby job (to my friend Jim, this means YOU). Maybe, just maybe, if I ask, I will receive. Heck, it couldn’t hurt, and the odds are about the same as the Lottery, but do not cost me $2.

Yep, it finally worked. Before I give you my “secret sauce” to getting rich, some background is necessary.

About 30 years ago, I started going to a restaurant called the Milky Way.  The first time was a co-worker party, and I was recommended this place because it was kosher. This is when I first met Leah Adler, as she visited a table of actuarial students and somehow survived. 

I did not know until afterwards that the posters on the wall were significant. You see, you may know her son a bit better. He’s made some pretty good movies about sharks. Grant you, they were not Sharktopus, but we’ll cut the guy some slack. 

In any case, we went back a few times in the 90’s and early 2000’s. And we met Mrs. Adler on most of those trips. One of those trips became a story that we have told to everyone through the years.

You see, we brought our friends Josephine and Gary.  Mrs. Adler was there, of course. We ordered our food; it was brought to the table. She came by to ask what we thought, and we were complimentary.  BUT… Gary made the off-handed, not serious comment that he liked what I ordered.

Yep – she yanked his plate off the table. Gary sat there with a lost puppy-dog look on his face. People were organizing a telethon in his name (for those under the age of 50, that was the GoFundMe page before Al Gore invented the internet). We waited until his dish was prepared, chowed down and had a wonderful time. (And yes, we’ve held this over Gary’s head for a long, long time.)

In any case, we had moved off to LarryLand, had a kid of our own (who did visit the restaurant) and hadn’t returned in probably close to 20 years. Sadly, Mrs. Adler has passed, but the restaurant continues. After seeing her son’s autobiography at the Avon Theater in Stamford Connecticut over Thanksgiving, it was time to return.

So, for Father’s Day, there we were.  I had the latkes, which are served with both apple sauce and sour cream (This is pure wisdom – for reference, see Latke Larry).  As we finished, the hostess came to our table and asked about our meal.

And then she asked the immortal question – “Is there anything I can bring you?”  Yep, I said two things: “Money”, and then, just to mix it up, “a Father’s Day Card”.

She said, “Wait a minute” and walked away. And then she came back with an envelope containing both a Father’s Day Card and a $10 gift certificate.

My wife will tell you that she accomplished what no one had ever done before:  she got me to shut up. I was speechless (but I did thank her, and we told here these stories before we left).

My strategy finally worked – I won the lottery! It was a good Father’s Day.

Stories are best told over meals. Thank you, Mrs. Adler, for the stories. Your spirit lives on.