Let’s face it. Doing your taxes is a drag. But who says you can’t have a little fun at the government’s expense?

Like so many of you, I pay $$$ to a large software company each year for the benefit of inputting horrendous amounts of numbers and read their “information” which requires a knowledge of Swahili and the entire U.S. Tax Code to understand. And I practiced in the field.

They keep promising me that they’ll get it done faster and more accurately. Heck for an extra $20, they’ll even e-file money to the state.  Isn’t it great to pay the government faster?

I think you can Intuit the solution that has been Blocking my brain all this time.  I don’t think I need to Turbo my taxes. Instead, I think we put it on the same speed level as a 1987 Yugo (The finest of Yugoslavian-produced automobiles with an estimated 2-Squirrel powered engine and I believe, but am not sure, seats).

Think of it this way:  Say you owe $200 to the state of California. Now, you can pay an additional 10% to pay Sacramento faster.  What a great deal!

OR… just spitballing here…  You can meet some nice folks, and send your envelope to the state of California (or Fed or anyone else you owe money to – what’s your hurry?)

Which is exactly what I did. I took my return (which isn’t being returned) to the post office. A very nice woman named Vivian smiled at me.  I told her to put this on the slowest snail mail possible. Heck a dead snail would be better – so long as it’s postmarked it’s up to the state to figure out the rest.

She smiled, sealed the envelope and licked the stamp. But, then she was required to ask me two questions:

Vivian:  Are you knowingly mailing something injurious to life, health or property?

Me: Well… I am mailing tax returns. I consider them injurious, don’t you?

Vivian:  Do any of your articles contain anything potentially harmful?

Me: Again… I am mailing tax returns.

Yes, she looked at me knowingly, but not knowing how exactly to respond.  She took the envelope anyway.

I’m pretty sure that my picture is now on the post office wall…..again.  But it was fun. So, totally worth it.