In my “junior-senior” years (old enough to get discount movie tickets, but not Medicare), I have learned that I no longer care what I wear out in public. My wife, well, she is always well put-out (and tries to put me out, but I keep coming back). She would never be seen in public without her hair in place – I’m pretty sure her hairdryer is powered by the engine from an F35 jet. [True story – on our honeymoon her “Eurostyle” hairdryer caused the power in our Paris bed-and-breakfast to go out not once, but twice.]

So, on a fine Saturday morning on my way home from the Big Orange, I decide to go into the “Bucks” (because it seems to cost more bucks every time I walk in). Yes, I’m wearing a T-shirt with holes, and my shorts have separated at the hemline. Rather than tossing these shorts out, I simply cut out the loop below my knee. Not the entire loop, just the front; it looks like a reverse mullet now. [On a more sentimental note, I got the Reel Inn shirt a long time ago when visiting with my friend Jim and his mom Nancy. I think it was the last time I saw her. Nancy is gone now, as is the Reel Inn due to the Palisades Fire.  I miss them both.]

Normally I would give this no thought, but on this particular morning, I become very aware of woman probably 30 years my junior who gets in line behind me. She is very fashionable in her gym clothes – you know, midriff-baring Lulu’s, hair and makeup perfect. I could not tell you if she was coming from or going to the gym, or going to meet somebody named Jim. But what IS clear is that I am completely outclassed in Starbucks. I’m surprised they didn’t just kick me out of the store.

So, there are two thoughts here. First, I’m getting a better workout than she is.  I was working on assembling the chairs you see in the picture for about 7 hours, literally walking about 5 miles inside my garage. And at the end of the day I get to sit on these chairs with a glass of wine and a good book.

But more importantly I think to myself – “self, how can you get in trouble here?” 

So, when the barista asks, “What can I do for you today sir?”  I look at him straight in the eyes, look directly at the girl and say, “I’d like to get this shirt cleaned and pressed.” He was speechless, she laughed.  That’s cool.

Later today, I get to be “disco chic” for a wedding reception. Coincidentally it is also my 39^th Greek Anniversary with my wife. Yes, the bride, groom, my wife and daughter all put up with me. No, I do not know why.

In any case I think I nailed the look. Literally.